The alarm rings in the bedroom signaling the start of the day.  Youve been up for over an hour taking a peaceful shower, making breakfast, packing lunches, and preparing for your 9AM conference call. The children, having been reminded at least three times are finally washed dressed and ready for breakfast. (Its always amazing how early theyre up and dressed on the weekend!) Your spouse plants a kiss on all foreheads, grabs the morning travel coffee mug, and heads for the door mumbling something about it being another one of those days. As usual, nobody has noticed youve managed to keep the house clean, pick up the dry cleaning, get the laundry completed, and have everyones schedules and carpools organized before you get to work. The rest of your day is filled with conference calls, meetings, projection reports, and problem solving, not to mention preparations for dinner, homework assistance, little league, and dancing school. Its amazing your brain can hold this much information and not turn to mush!  How is a busy, working parent supposed to be effective at their job and also be an attentive parent? Here are a few tips to make managing your crazy schedule much more manageable so you can enjoy your time with your family.

Make a date: It may sound crazy, but you need to have a plan in order to manage your life without feeling stressed or dropping the ball on important issues. If you apply the same skills to your home life that you do to your work life, you will find more time for fun and less stress. Have a certain night during the week be family night. This is the week- night where you PLAN to have dinner together, maybe at a family-friendly restaurant. Rent a fun family movie and settle down with a bowl of popcorn together or take a short neighborhood bike ride. Whatever you do, this is the night for family time without thinking about work or planning an after school activity. No friends allowed, no phones to answer, just time for you!

Outsource: Believe it or not, it is not your job to be SUPER parent and nobody will hold it against you if you cant do everything. Invite grandparents, neighbors or close friends to help with certain tasks. Pay a few extra dollars occasionally to have things delivered such as dry cleaning or groceries. Prepare meals and pack lunches on Sundays and freeze them or prepackage them for the week. Have the kids help when possible. Try to join carpools with parents in the same activities with your children that only require your attention once a week or every other week.

Let them help: Give certain chores to your children or spouse to take some work off of you. Kids can learn to fold laundry or empty the dishwasher as early as age 4! Your spouse can learn to do laundry or pick children up from activities for you. Dont be afraid to ask for help.

Prioritize: This is a difficult skill. When it comes to family vs. work there should be no contest. Your job pays the bills and fulfills your personal goals but you need to make quality time for your family. Decide what is critical in your day and organize your time accordingly. If the dry cleaning can wait until tomorrow, let it wait! Also, find something that helps you shut down your brain on the way home from work. No matter how hard you try, if you have something happening at work, you wont be able to give your children your undivided attention if your mind is on work. Work needs to stay at work as much as possible. Whatever works for you will help you truly enjoy your family time.

Telecommute: Every once in a while, depending on your company and your position, it is possible to set up a telecommuting program to allow you the occasional flexibility to work from home. This will help you accomplish two things. You can still get the required work accomplished and when you take your standard breaks you can toss in a load of laundry, run the dishwasher, or make a quick trip to the dry cleaners. The time saved in travel can be spent wisely as well. Just be sure not to forget that working from home is still working and your daily tasks for your job are top priority. If you can improve your productivity and lessen your stress level your boss may be inclined to offer this option more often.

These are just a few tips to help you manage your busy life. Remember, your job is important but your family comes first.

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Wow Them With Walls!

By Becca Williams, creator of WallNutz Paint By Number Mural Kits (www.wallnutz.com)

When decorating your childs room, dont overlook the largest surface in the room the walls!   They are empty canvases for your creativity.  Some time and a few dollars can turn those blank walls into works of art.

        Hang inexpensive wall art.  Find posters from childrens museums, video rental stores and bookstores and mount them on foam board.  You can have this done by a frame shop, or purchase foam board and spray adhesive at a craft supply store and do it yourself.

        Take pages from old childrens books or calendars and place them in inexpensive frames.

        Frame your childs artwork.  She will be proud to know that you think her art is good enough for a permanent decoration.  If your child is too young, use artwork that you and your spouse did as children.

        Hang a colorful quilt on a wall.  Attractive quilt clips are available through Pottery Barn Kids.

Paint is also an extremely cost effective way to change the look of a room.  A bright solid color of paint can go a long way in converting a blah white room into a cheery environment.  When selecting paint types, semi-gloss is your best bet for easily wiping away little handprints.   The following are techniques to get even more creative with paint.

        Naturally, I think murals add a special touch to a childs room.  My company, WallNutz (www.wallnutz.com), provides paint-by-number mural kits for those artistically challenged parents.  Painting a mural can be a weekend fun project for the family, since kids as young as six can help.  Most of the murals are inexpensive as well you can buy the kit, paints and brushes all for less than $50.

        Try sponge painting on your walls.  Its easy to paint a base color, then dampen a sponge, dip into the second color of paint and dab lightly on the walls.  And hey, if you dont like it, just paint over the top!

        Use chalkboard paint on one wall.  Tape a rectangular area that is 4 in length by 3 in height, with the bottom starting 2 from the baseboards.  Fill in with green or black chalkboard paint from a craft store.

        Magnetic paint is also available (www.kling.com), although a more expensive option than most paints.  Follow the instructions above for the chalkboard, substituting magnetic paint, and youll have a fabulous place for displaying your childs artwork.

In addition to painting, wood accents can add a nice touch to walls.  For example, wainscoting or plate rails are easy to install.  Paint the wood white or match other trim in the room, then nail into place with carpenters nails.  Plate rails are also functional; they make a wonderful display area for pictures or to store childrens books.

Whether youre doing a complete room makeover or sprucing up older decor, its worth spending time and a little money to add some WOW! to your walls.  

My husband and I learned shortly after we were married that we couldn't have children of our own.  I was diagnosed with a rare form of cervical cancer, and a hysterectomy was our best choice for a full recovery.  I had my surgery on Halloween 12 years ago.  Even at that time, we never thought we would be childless, but we had no idea where this tragedy would take us.

After many years of marital bliss, we decided to do some research on fertility and adoption.  Since I still had my ovaries and we were blessed with several willing participants, we weighed the option of having someone special carry our child for us.  At the time, however, insurance companies were not interested in covering anything like this.  So, we delved into adoption.

I read book after book on the process and options available to adoptive parents and birthparents. I reported back to my husband (he does not read as furiously as I do).  We decided to select an agency and get started.

We learned so much, and we grew more than we had through any other experience in our lives.  After many letters, biographies, pictures, phone calls, and broken hearts, we were finally rewarded when our daughter Annie joined us in November of 1996.  Our family was overjoyed, and we received well wishes from friends, relatives and their friends and relatives!  Again, in June of 1998, Cassie joined us.  Annie and Cassie were sisters, and our family was complete.

My husband and I strongly believe when adoptions happen it's because the children find the parents, not the other way around.  Our girls both came to us through bizarre circumstances, not from careful planning, and not from the agency we chose.  Our girls believe they picked us!  I encourage anyone who wants a child to consider adoption and make themselves available to be found.  Adopted children are truly a gift, and if you are willing to receive this gift, it will find its way to you.  And the fulfillment you will receive from making a difference in a child's life, coupled with the enjoyment and love they bring to yours, reinforces why you were brought together. 

So, I am grateful every day for our tragedy of cancer, the tragedy that created our beautiful family!  It certainly was not the journey we planned to take the day we married, and for that we are thankful.  My husband and I would gladly do it all over again!      

Adoption Treasures Specialty Gifts (610-781-4396) adoptiontreasures@yahoo.com

As the summer winds down, September is fast approaching. Along with the crisp, fall weather will come the first days of school and, for some, the separation anxiety that goes along with it.

One of the questions we as a facility-screening agency ask the directors is How do you deal with separation anxiety? The most common answer is we tell the parents to just relax and theyll be alright. It sounds strange but the parents were generally more upset than the kids. Sure, there is always the initial fear when a child is thrust into a new environment, but that quickly fades as the daily routine and fun begin.

I was a preschool/Kindergarten teacher for the local school district for 7 years and Ive seen my share of separation anxiety. The children clawing at theyre parents shirt, the screaming and crying (and Im not just talking about the children), and the upset parents pacing outside the school, just in case! We learn to calm the children and redirect their attention to distract them. We are taught to put the parents mind at ease by showing them that the behavior is normal and that the kids will be just fine. Its the expected first-day-blues.

This all sounds so trivial from the teachers point of view. This year, however, for the first time I will be experiencing it from the other side of the coin. My first baby, my five year old is entering Kindergarten. I practically had to take a sedative just to sign her up at the local elementary school. How am I going to handle this very important journey into her educational experience? These are some helpful hints to help you and your child make a smooth transition into the first day of school.

1.      Talk about school for a few months ahead. Bring it up casually and try to create a comfortable feeling about school.

2.      Invite your child to ask questions. The more a child knows, the less scary it will seem.

3.      Never use phrases like it wont be scary when addressing the subject. Try to stick to facts about what they will experience and keep your opinions to yourself. If you try to hard to convey excitement, they may see through to your anxiety.

4.      Read age appropriate books about school. Children can get a sense of what to expect from these stories.

5.      Do something special for the first day. Maybe a special breakfast or a new hair ribbon might create some excitement.

6.      Let them help pick out school supplies and school clothes. Nothing induces excitement quicker than the thought of being able to sport something new and special.

7.      Visit the school ahead of time and try to schedule an appointment to meet the teacher.

8.      Be sure your child knows that you will be back when school is over. Show them the clock if they seem upset and show them what the clock looks like when its time to leave.

9.      Kiss your child goodbye at the door and promptly turn to leave. The more you linger, the harder it will be to leave. Dramatic exits only work well in the movies. In real life it just creates more anxiety.

10.  If you feel compelled to stay around to put your mind at ease, do it outside where you can hear whats going on or ask a passing employee to peak in and check on your child.

The more information you pass to your child and the less you worry, the smoother transition you and your child will experience on their first day of school.

As the only owner of Child Care Choices, Inc. (franchisees included), who has not had the mommy experience, I certainly felt I was missing a key ingredient to help me keep a childcare referral business growing.  Therefore, I jumped at the chance to work as a childcare provider in our network. (Especially since Im not quite ready to tackle the mommy thing.)  The extra money didnt hurt either.  I had a slight advantage when picking families for whom I wanted to work since I own the company.  Still, I considered myself VERY lucky to have worked and still work with several great families.  The experience has been incredible and there are several KEY factors making it so enjoyable. 

MONEY I have to be honest, a good hourly rate is important because taking care of children is work.  Stay at home moms will back me on this!  It requires physical and mental stamina.  You cant pick up one child or push one child on the swing without having to do the same for the others.  Its very challenging trying to be equally fair to their needs and make decisions about their care, such as what to fed them (especially when they dont eat), how much television to let them watch, or when to believe them when they say Mommy always lets me. So, after a day of being a nanny, I usually go home exhausted.  I do enjoy my time with the children but going home with an hourly rate of $12-$15 (and a holiday bonus) makes me feel valued and appreciated.  I also feel more inclined to go above and beyond with my time and energy when the families need more help. 

RESPECT Its possible the families I work with respect me in part because I am the owner of Child Care Choices (and most people who chose childcare as an option dont have their MBA).  Regardless, I truly believe they would treat any caregiver with the same level of consideration and respect. Calling me when they are going to be late, letting me know what time to expect them home, asking me if the children behaved for me, and occasionally checking to make sure I am happy working for them.  I have always felt like I was part of their team and not just an employee. Some nannies even become a part of the family and spend extra time socializing with their families.  Some nannies like that part of the job but not all nannies need to be part of the family.  Unfortunately, I dont truly have time to do that but I do care about them and I know they care about me. I know because they always take the time to show they respect my time and feelings.

LOVING MY FAMILIES Children are not dishonest about their feelings.  You know when they like someone and when they dont.  As a nanny, I need to truly care about the parents and children with whom I work.  This does not mean I have to like everything about them all of the time. (No one likes their job ALL of the time.)  I always respect the requirements of the parents with regard to the care of their children.  AND, I am crazy in love with the children for whom I care.  I enjoy impacting their lives, teaching them new things and sharing special things that my parents shared with me when I was young.  I need to have their acceptance and to know I can make them feel better when they are upset.  The money or respect wouldnt mean anything if I didnt have the love of the children with whom I spend so much time.

ACCEPTANCE (for not being perfect) I know that during the course of the day, I make decisions regarding the care of the children that do not quiet match those decisions their parents would make.  I always try to keep the lines of communication open so I know how each parent wants their children to act, behave and spend their day.  However, my families have given me room to be myself and interact with the children in my own way.  They feel it is important for their children to be exposed to different people and different experiences.  I dont want to have to worry that I am going to be reprimanded for every choice I make simply because it is not exactly they way mom or dad would have handled it.  Thats a very oppressive environment in which to work and it can stop the experience from being fun for both a nanny and the children. 

These are very important factors for all families and nannies trying to develop a positive relationship.  Children need to be loved, cared for, given rewards and space to grow.  So do nannies